Hi Craig and Joan,
It was lovely to meet you last week, felt very relaxed and easy. We chatted a lot and I thought it might
be useful to send you some of the information in writing because it’s a strange mixed up story and it
might be difficult to remember the details. I know the historical stuff is not that important but just in
case you need it to make sense of anything, I am writing it down.
Our mother was Lillian Groarke (nee Kay). She was born in Rochdale 15/6/22 and married James
Groarke (Jim) 26/6/43 (I think). They lived in Yorkshire(Holmfirth) and other places and for some
unknown reason my mother ended up in Southampton when he left her for a woman called Margaret.
We think Roy and our mum met in early 1959 at a dance hall. Mum got pregnant with Jackie (Jacqueline
Anne) who was born in Southampton 28/12/59. I think Roy was still working at sea but soon after he
got a job ashore at the “Coca Cola factory” according to my mum. As Mum was still married to Jim she
did not put any father on Jackie’s birth certificate. I think it’s still the rule that unless you are married or
the father is present when the birth is registered they cannot be named (as this would be without
consent).
Jim had a daughter with Margaret also in 1959 and she was called Kay.
I was born on 10/8/61 in Southampton (Susan Jane). My mum decided to put Jim on my birth certificate
because she had decided it was better not to be illegitimate. At some point my mum (with or without
Roy?) must have moved to Rochdale because John (John Alexander) was born there 2/12/63. I have
asked him what is on his birth certificate but he says he only has a small one so not all the details visible.
However we are all registered with the surname Groarke, even if Jim not named because my mum
wanted us to be legitimate.
We must have moved to Fairlie in 1964/5 as I have no memory of living in either Southampton or
Rochdale. We went to school there and used the name MacDonald. Roy was our father and Auntie
Annie and Uncle Archie the nearest thing we had to grandparents. Roy worked at the “yard” (Fairlie
Yacht Slip) owned By Annie and Archie and according to him, bought with family money from his
mother’s family. I must have called Roy “Dad” as a young child but this changed later after we moved
away and I had a relationship with him as an adult.
At some point in 1971 my mum found out Roy was having an affair with Margaret Burrows, a neighbour
in Fairlie. We moved out of our family home into another flat in the village. Out of the blue my mum
announced that a man called Jim would arrive in a car and we would all get in and move to England. We
weren’t allowed to take out things and weren’t allowed to tell anyone we were going or contact anyone
to say where we were when we arrived in England. She later told us Jim was her husband, we had his
surname on our birth certificates and to keep up appearances we should call him “Dad”and tell
everyone our surname was Groarke. Jim’s daughter Kay used to come and visit and I remember she
stayed with us a while and even went to our school (not sure why).
We lived in Rochdale, with Jim for around 6 years. One day in 1977 (I think) Jim announced he was
leaving and going back to Margaret (Kay’s mum). He also said he was going to divorce mum because he
didn’t want Kay to be illegitimate. So Mum and Jim eventually got divorced in the late 1970s.
For several years we had hardly any contact with Roy but we visited Fairlie and he did give me away at
both my weddings (1983 and 1999) and visit us when Daniel was a baby (1990?). My mum saw him on
these occasions and also visited him not long before he died, joining us on one of our annual trips to see
him.
I used to visit Fairlie regularly before I had my children and then when I had children, taking them each
summer to visit Roy. Jackie and John had less face-to-face contact with him although Jackie did write to
him and also attended Margaret’s funeral (early 2000s I think).
When Jim died Jackie, John and my mum attended his funeral along with Jim’s wife and daughter.
When Roy died John and his children attended his funeral along with me and my children and my
children’s father (Peter).
All of this information is based on what I remember (bearing in mind I was a child for a lot of it) and
some of the stories my mum told when we discussed it. Jackie may have some other information to
add.
So back to the present day. Jackie is married to Darren and they live in France (nearest airport Limoges).
John lives near Crewe and has 2 daughters, Jordan (27 – 4/5/92) and Keeley (19 – 27/12/99). I live in
North Wales (close to border with Chester) and have 3 children Daniel (30 – 3/7/89), Matthew (27 –
31/12/91) and Catherine (25 soon – 9/11/94). Matthew has a son George (7/12/2018) with his girlfriend
Rachel.
Hope this is interesting/useful in trying to work out the past and the present situation.
Sue x